it was Hari Raya yesterday in the uk. happy happy joy joy. no, on the contrary. I have personally lost interest in the celebration ages ago. Before one mutters blasphemy, let me explain.
Back in the day, Hari Raya was fun. Actually enjoying and anticipating to go back to kampung. Being able to hang around and play mercun with the cousins, the `maaf zahir and yeah whatever, give me em green packets' moments, the non-stop eating, the uncles and aunties who go `dah besar dah` everytime they see you, and everything in between.
We were young, we were free.
Fast forward that along the years, and you have almost a charade of the whole balik kampung thing. You are much older, you discover that maybe you dont have much in common with the cousins, family spats are more common amongst the big familia ( u gotta remember whos talking to who), cousins get married and opt out to celebrate with their new families. You dont want to go back,period. but then it matters if i dont go back to `celebrate` as we are forced to give a shit if others bitch of our absence.
Raya last year, like the two years before, saw me doing the whole protocol thing in the morning, and spending the rest of the day in a dodgy snooker parlour in town with a cousin or two. that bad, that bad. Then, why stay another couple of nites like u would back in the day, just come up with some cock and bull story to all who gives a shit, that uve got work, exam, etc the next day. so then, ur off the hook. balik kl and dont need to do the whole `act` till Hari Raya Haji.
Today, I was heavy hearted to go to Malaysia Hall for the prayers as i felt i hadnt the right to go (due to obvious reasons). but i chose to go, just to see if i can get some sort of raya feeling out of it. I didnt. Prayers had finished by the time i got there. Lotsa kids hanging around outside. I left after 20 minutes. I did meet a friend from KL which was pleasant. But yeah, enjoyed more working in the kitchen later in the day.
We need to sort things out. I would like to enjoy and truly be part of Hari Raya in the future.
A year ago, i received a msg wishing me Happy Raya and the msg also had something on the lines of `forgive everybody and hopefully everyone forgives you`. It meant alot to me as the whole maaf, zahir and batin thing had been said for granted all this time. Part of the protocol what?
From there, I would like to play my part, and sincerely apologies to the people ive done wrong through out the year.
Wishing you a blessed Eid.
Regards,
Joe
4 comments:
Joe.. Good post, I agree with you. Selamat Hari Raya sincerely! And maaf zahir batin , all the way from Aussieland!! Hehe.
P.s. http://www.leanbeans.blogspot.com/ .. SHH!
That was a really honest and heartfelt entry. Selamat Hari Raya Taufik, and may you see the sun shining in your life always
well said. we keep repeating the 'maaf zahir batin' part with our fake smile intact... but this year, i really enjoyed raya...well, kuching, dude! its nice to actually know that it wasnt a whole waste of time after all!
selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin.
hieya, thanks for the wishes. it does feel good to revel the unspoken at times. should do it more often huh?
plumpy: i cant get into ur hush hush blog.
lil devil: it must be closer to winter. not seeing much rays to be shun upon atm.
alia: good to hear u had a wicked time in kuching. homecoming heh? do u do it every year. would be nice to coincide with the rainforest festival kan. beat two birds with one stone ya`ll.
Post a Comment